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Prepare for Challenging Conversations with Family Members
Communication research suggests things to keep in mind to improve outcomes
Sit-downs with our spouse to discuss dividing up the housework more evenly or obstacles to reaching mutual financial goals. Open discussions with our children about sex, drugs, or screen time. Heart-to-hearts with our parents about a terminal medical diagnosis, moving to a more accessible home, or their having to give up driving. It’s not hard to understand the range of challenging family conversations. We all have had some version of them. Most of us have dreaded such talks or put them off as long as possible. We have done a better job with some of them than with others.
A cluster of communication theories broadly known as multiple goals theories sheds some light on what makes these family conversations so difficult. At the core of these theories is the idea that communication exchanges become challenging when any or all parties involved in them are juggling task, identity, and relationship objectives that may be at odds (Caughlin & Wilson, 2021). What do they mean by these three types of goals?
- A task goal refers to a thing the speaker is trying to accomplish, as getting a loved one to consider rehab or open up about their illness.
